Knives in My Back
By Tucker Pyne, Founder & CEO
Last month, out of nowhere, my back just… went. Not sore. Not tight. Not “I slept funny.” All of a sudden, it felt like someone stuck a knife into my lower back... and then twisted it every time I moved.
My body was a rictus of pain. I couldn't walk, or stand, or work, or eat. I gasped for breath. I cried. I prayed.
I kept trying to explain it to people and nothing really landed. It’s hard to describe pain like that without sounding dramatic, but it honestly was the worst I’ve ever felt.
Maybe I pushed too hard at the gym. Maybe my 2-year-old treating me like a jungle gym finally caught up to me. Maybe this is just what 40 feels like knocking on the door.
Ibuprofen usually works wonders for me. This time? Nothing.
But fortunately, there was one medicine that brought relief.
Cannabis.
Not in a miracle way. The pain didn’t disappear. But it softened. My body unclenched. I could actually take some deep breaths. I could walk across the room. I could eat.
It gave me just enough space to exist again—even to find moments of joy, and peace.
I’ve talked to a lot of people over the years who use cannabis for physical pain. Back pain, nerve issues, old injuries, stuff that never really goes away.
I’ve always listened. I believed them.
But I didn’t feel it the way I do now.
Because when pain gets to a certain level, it’s not just “something you’re dealing with.” It becomes the main character. Everything else moves around it—your mood, your patience, your ability to show up, even your sense of self.
It’s exhausting. It’s consuming. It’s… really lonely, honestly.
And even though what I went through was temporary, it gave me a glimpse into that world.
I walked away from it with a lot more respect for the people who live there full-time.
Cannabis already meant a lot to me, for different reasons.
It slows me down. It helps me zoom out when I’m stuck in my head. It quiets that constant mental chatter. It brings me back into my body when I’ve drifted too far into everything else.
That’s always been the “medicine” for me.
But this was different. This was the first time I really leaned on it physically.
I don’t have a clean takeaway here.
I still don’t know exactly what caused it. I’m hoping it doesn’t come back. I’ve been stretching more, moving differently, paying closer attention.
But I do know this: I understand something now that I didn’t before.
When someone tells me this plant helps them get through the day—not in a lifestyle way, but in a real, physical, survival kind of way—I hear that differently now.
And if you’re someone dealing with that kind of pain regularly… I get it, at least a little more than I did.
That experience sucked. No way around it. But I’m weirdly grateful for it.
It gave me perspective I didn’t have. And it reminded me, again, why this plant matters in the first place.
Not as a trend or talking point.
Just… as something that helps.
—Tucker
